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Queensland Greens in Turmoil


Wednesday, 28 March 2007

BEAUTY & THE BEAST: Bitter Greens Preselection Crisis in Queensland


http://andrewlanderyou.blogspot.com/2007/03/beauty-beast-bitter-greens-preselection.html



Despite an image of purity and harmony, the state-based divisions of the Australian Greens are a seething cauldron of petty hatreds and bitchy rivalry. The tiny cadre of members in Greens rotten boroughs are able to wield control or significant influence on the party that could hold the balance of power in the Australian Senate.

This places an extraordinary amount of power in the hands of a small group of people who are on the extreme left fringe of Australian public life and are frequently engaged in illegal drug-taking.

In the Victorian Greens, pragmatic numbers-man Greg Barber MLC went for the doctor and installed his brother-in-law Richard Di Natale as the lead Senate Candidate. It was a dramatic coup which ousted presumptive Senate candidate, former Melbourne Councillor David Risstrom. It was an agonisingly close contest postal vote, although only six or seven hundred members actually voted in the rotten borough count. Just as disturbingly, the person who conducted the poll is infamous ultra-leftist and poll rorter Stephen Luntz who is also employed by the extreme left backed University of Melbourne Student Union.

CUTIE VS DEATH-BEAST
The Queensland Greens are in a similarly spiteful death-wrestle. The battle boils down to a struggle between stunning lipstick-bisexual Greensbabe Larissa Waters and heavyweight leftiste Juanita Wheeler (aka Beauty and the Beast)

It is mind boggling that things would turn so nasty and dirty given that Queensland is the least likely to elect a Green, but the stoushing is getting particularly snide and vicious as you shall see. No more than a few hundred voters are expected to participate in the farce.

Five Greens members have nominated for the leading Senate candidate pre-selection.

The battle is shaping up between new kid on the block luscious Larissa Waters and heavyweight National Convenor Juanita Wheeler, sloth club member Anja Light and two others who can't win whose names our stoned Greens sources were unable to recall.

Nasty aspects of the cat-fight fight include:

  • Claims that glamour envirototty Lipstick Larissa Waters is running "Dummy Candidates" in order to bolster her numbers by preference-harvesting;

  • A preference deal between Larissa Waters, Anja Light and Andrew Grodecki proven by their campaign material which contained HTV cards where they swapped preferences as a block, leaving the other two candidates, including arch-enemy Juanita Wheeler, out in the cold in a cruel and Stalinist totty-thrust;



CENTRAL INTERVENTION USED TO UNDERMINE GLAMOURGREEN
  • As reported in Nameless, the Greens National Executive last week held a secret closed door meeting to examine the Queensland Greens pre-selection process. The real reason was to ensure that the vote ran to according to the central plan and National Convenor Juanita Wheeler won the nomination. Tactics were discussed on what actions could be taken to ensure Larissa Waters didn't win, showing an absence of respect for the Greensbabe.

  • Some Greens members have described the National Council intervention into the pre-selection process has been described as a "constitutional crisis";

  • Larissa Waters believes the pre-selection process is being conducted improperly and outside Party rules and has sought legal advice about ensuring justice for the persecuted minority of stunning blonde beach babes;

  • Some Queensland Greens members concerned about the undemocratic maneuvers of the sinister cabal have threatened to resign from the party in disgust;

  • Four of the five candidates reserved the right to take legal action to overturn the postal ballot including envirolegalminx Larissa;


NASTY ATTACKS ON ENVIROHOTTOT
Rumours have been running rampant, either true or lies spread by the Juanita Wheeler faction of uglies, about questions relating to Larissa Waters private life. Rumour within the party is that Luscious Larissa, who is an attractive environmental lawyer, is a bi-sexual who has a semi-open relationship where she is allowed by her male partner to have intimate relations with women. (OC: OK, settle down lads) While not a breach of Greens membership policy, concerns are being raised within the party that it may jeopardise their Senate campaign if she is the lead candidate and details relating to her colourful nightlife are leaked to the lustful inquirers of the media and Family First rivals.

Click here to see Larissa Waters, a Greensbabe who if she's not elected to the Senate from Queensland may seek to replace Lara Bingle as Australia's tourism ambassador.

Then there's her running-mate Anja Light, a blonde Swedish woman with monkeys on her head. Comrade Light's critics insist that even though she's running for the Senate, she was too lazy or stoned to have out How To Vote cards for her party during the Queensland poll.

  • Sam Stainsby, the Stalinist Queensland Greens Forum moderator has been abusing his power to delete posts on a Greens internet site and supress dissent to ensure his desired candidate (Juanita Wheeler) gets the nod;

  • Questions have been raised by Wheeler backers about Larissa only being a Green party member for one year prior to nomination;


LIPSTICK LARISSA LASHES FOES
  • Larissa's supporters have countered with claims that Juanita is a filthy capitalist pig in that she owns four childcare centres, is a multi-millionaire and a very well-paid senior executive with a leading technology. In the world of the Green, this inclination to capitalism could be a serious problem;

  • Wealthy Juanita Wheeler may be a good salesperson for her many business interests but her critics say that as membership recruitment coordinator, yet the Queensland Greens remain frozen at 890 members where they've been for two years, a rotten borough indeed, especially when it's considered likely that only a few hundred of them will bother voting in the Senate preselection;

  • Members have complained that Juanita Wheeler's tour of the state to energise Greens members is in fact a cynical ploy to self-promote at Party expense;

  • One numbers operative improperly accessed the national membership database to obtain members' contact detail for campaigning purposes.

  • Waters' backers have been hitting the phones to demon-dial Greens members to gather votes. These phone callers have reportedly made subtle references to Juanita Wheeler's weight and beastly appearance compared to Greens uber-babe Larissa Waters.


All in all, another perfect of example of the need for open primaries where party supporters can all vote for prospective candidates rather than this latest rotten borough where a few hundred Greens members will - by a bizarre process behind closed doors - choose a public representative who theoretically represents millions of people.

Game on.


Friday, 30 March 2007

CRUSHED: Greens Heavyweight Humiliated By Larissa Landslide


http://andrewlanderyou.blogspot.com/2007/03/crushed-greens-heavyweight-humiliated.html



Amid furious allegations of ballot-rigging, sleazy preference deals, character assasination and electoral corruption, glamour Green Larissa Waters has emerged triumphant over heavyweight millionaire Greens National Campaign Director Juanita Wheeler in a shock landslide for the Queensland Greens Senate preselection.



COUNT CORRUPTION
Lipstick Larissa's supporters had to drag the Greens machine-men kicking and screaming to the ballot box too, as they had refused to count the postal baldespite threats of litigation from Team Larissa.

The count was initially scheduled to occur early this week and had been delayed without reason or public explanation until last night causing many to fear that Juanita Wheeler planned to chew through the ballot-box and "supplement" the count with some North Korean style ballot guidance.

LEGAL SCHEMING
The decision must then be ratified by the Politburo of the Greens known as the State Council. In addition it is understood that Comrade Wheeler is then planning to appeal the result which might take many months to work out.

Embarrassingly though for Wheeler who has positioned her substantial bottom at the top of the Greens tree of power nationally, Larissa's dummy and sometimes monkey-headed candidates who ran merely to deliver her preferences managed to poll more than Wheeler did.

It is considered an incredible repudiation of Wheeler's dictatorial management style by those opposed to her reign of error.

Should she survive the intrigues and manipulations of Juanita's sinister cabal of clout, Larissa will be all set to go to the people of Queensland with her sweet smile and stupid scheme to ban the use of coal, which could cost Queensland taxpayers more than $1 billion per annum. She and her Greens colleagues could well regain the balance of power after the next federal poll.

All on the back of getting three hundred votes in a corrupted preselection. It's enough to do Russ Hinze and descendants proud.

Game on.


Sunday, 22 April 2007

BABE V PIG: Queensland Greens Finally Announce Larissa Waters' Triumph Twenty Days After OC Scoop


http://andrewlanderyou.blogspot.com/2007/04/babe-v-pig-queensland-greens-finally.html



AAP reports that the Queensland Greens have finally publicly confirmed the now ancient OC story that Greensbabe Luscious Larissa Waters has been selected as the militant party's lead Senate candidate in the Sunshine State.

In the interests of a well informed public debate, the OC Investigations Unit (Photoshopping Team) have produced a simulated image of possible Queensland Greens promotional material in the lead up to the state election. It is an artist's impression. Some might say a BS artist's impression. We report, you decide.

Loser and deathbeast Juanita Wheeler, owner of three childcare centres and technology company executive is far more influential within the national Greens hierarchy than Larissa and is understood to have attempted a coup against Larissa. The coup attempt failed with Larissa scoring two-thirds of the vote and moves from "Southerners" supporting Big Juanita were seen as potentially extremely disruptive and divisive.

So in the end the heavyweight backed off and a scandalous twenty days after we announced it, the Greens have finally officially revealed their candidates' name: blonde bombshell Larissa Waters. As hippies committed to open democracy they certainly have refined Joe Stalin's techniques down to perfection.

Game on.

PS We salute the brave patriots including computer guru and OC News Contributor Dr Sam Stainsby who operated behind enemy lines to provide us with up-to-the-minute breaking news from the Greens Politburo. Many thanks.


Monday, 23 April 2007

MEAN GREENS: Bob Brown Prefers Wildebeest To Bambi


http://andrewlanderyou.blogspot.com/2007/04/mean-greens-bob-brown-prefers_23.html



The Australian Greens are being ripped apart in an internal crisis of epic proportions over the Queensland Greens Senate preselection. Greens Federal Leader Bob Brown has threatened not to campaign for newly selected candidate Larissa Waters following the bitter divisions which saw his favoured candidate Juanita Wheeler rolled (pardon the pun) by Greensglamour Larissa Waters.

Not since the ugly debacle of the Victorian preselection of right-wing Greens numbers-man and astute stock-market player Greg Barber's brother-in-law Richard DiNatale over the top of long-time Senate hopeful David Risstrom in Victoria has there been so much blood on the hemp carpet.

Following the sweeping victory of blonde bombshell Larissa Waters in the membership ballot, her opponent millionaire leftist and national Greens powerbroker Juanita Wheeler launched a vicious campaign of retribution including a full appeal of the result which failed due to the overwhelming size of Larissa's victory.

The punishments unleashed by the Wheeler faction have been swift and merciless .

AXED
Mark White, who was the campaign manager for Luscious Larissa, was ruthlessly terminated from the management committee of the Queensland Greens over allegations that he attempted to rig the preselection ballot in favour of the blonde bombshell.

At least half the active members in the Greens hierarchy are opposed to Larissa, as the more presentable outsider candidate much of her support came from less active members who "liked the look of her" (understandably).

This has been demonstrated in the collapse of recent press releases coming from the Greens High Command in Brisbane. There have been only two media releases in recent times, issued by Larissa Waters.

Wheeler was once the most hard working hack, drawing the admiration of Canberra based Greens. Bob Brown is claimed to have called Wheeler "a thoroughbred running against a show-pony."

Brown's staff have also been peddling claims that our Larissa has a racy online AdultMatchmaker profile but the OC Investigations Unit have been unable to find evidence supporting this claim against her. Believe me, if we find it you'll be the first to know.

Game on.

NOTE: This is a Midday Monday Madness story, published at 2.53pm due to technical difficulties. You could say we're operating on Queensland time today.
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